Areeza: Studying In Barcelona Changed My Life

Deciding to study abroad was a huge step for me, something I could have never imagined doing a few years ago. Despite being a very sociable person, I struggle with anxiety. I overthink every conversation, every interaction, every look, to the point where I can barely dance at clubs without feeling like everyone is watching me. So the idea of moving across the world for four months and only knowing one person? Terrifying.

I was so, so excited about studying abroad. But at the same time, I was constantly on the verge of an anxiety attack as I thought about all the things that could go wrong. What if I didn’t make friends? What if people didn’t like me? What would they think about me? Will I be lonely for the next four months? What if my social anxiety gets worse?

But then…Barcelona surprised me. 

Within the first week, I had bonded with almost everyone on my residence floor and met so many people in my program. Even other girls from my university who I never expected to get close to ended up becoming my best friends in Barcelona. Our program put us in the same classes (with max 20 people) and the same residence floors. Not only did this make it easy to meet people, but it felt so natural, as if I had known these people for years.

I found myself adjusting faster than I ever thought I could. Instead of panicking about independence, I felt a sense of freedom that didn’t scare me. I enjoyed taking the metro to class alone, ordering coffee in Spanish (leche de avena, siempre), and people watching. For the first time ever, I wasn’t relying on anyone to navigate life for me. I was doing it myself. And I kind of loved it. It felt like I had walked into a life I didn’t even realize I was capable of living. 

For those first two months, I felt as if I was on top of the world. I had an amazing friendship group that I loved spending time with. From going on girls' trips every weekend to cooking family dinners in our residence kitchen and weekly happy hour wings at Cocovail, it felt like we were living in a sitcom.

The Hard Stuff I Didn’t Post on Instagram (Except I Did)

But I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Barcelona wasn’t always perfect for me, and studying abroad isn’t one long fairytale montage. I genuinely feel like I hit rock bottom during my stay, and this was something that I really, really struggled with. 

I struggled with time management. I felt overwhelmed. I had a rough period where everything hit at once. Get ready, because it’s a lot. Within the span of two weeks, I managed to:

• Slip on a puddle & sprain my ankle 

• Get terminated from my internship abroad  

• Fall off a 15-foot ledge trying to jump into a pool (yes, I fell before I actually jumped) & almost break both my knees

• Spiral out about my self-image & feeling lost in my life 

• Have a hard conversation with my best friend that made me realize I needed to show up better 

• Feel the most unconfident I have ever felt in my entire life & genuinely believe I was a failure at everything. 

As you’re reading this, you’re probably wondering how someone can manage to mess up so much in such a short space of time. Believe me, I’ve asked the same question. But somehow I managed to do it! (Don’t worry, I’m okay)

I was dealing with my own mental health issues all while trying to keep up with classes, work a 15-hour internship, travel every weekend, club throughout the week, maintain my friendships (new and old), and adjust to a whole new lifestyle. I had so many moments where I thought, “Why can’t I just be normal?” I didn’t understand why I was struggling so much, where I had gone wrong, and why I seemed to be the only one experiencing such bad luck.

But here’s the thing: those moments didn’t break me, they shaped me.

My Turning Point

Somewhere between exploring the Gothic Quarter during my week of unemployment, sitting at the hospital after my accident with 2% left on my phone, and getting lost for the tenth time in Gràcia because I had no mobile data (thanks AT&T)… something clicked.

I realized I was doing all of this — even the hard parts — by myself.

And I didn’t fall apart. I didn’t run home. I adapted.

I learned that independence doesn’t mean having everything under control; it means trusting that you’ll figure it out even when things aren’t going perfectly. And if there was ever a moment that I had to trust myself, it was at this rock bottom moment. 

So I took the initiative to change my life back around, and become someone I was proud to be. I found a new internship that I ended up enjoying 10x more than my old job (which is where I am now writing this blog, hey guys ;)) I reflected on why I was struggling and made adjustments in my life to positively impact me. I took a break from going out, started journaling again, and spent more time with myself. I learned to get over my FOMO in an effort to put myself first and prioritize what really matters. I even managed to plan a successful 5-day Morocco trip for 34 people on my program (which I’m never doing again, thank you very much)! 

A Whole New Me

I am not going to say I am a completely different person, that my life is forever changed and I am moving to Barcelona for the rest of my life. But I will say that I have grown more in the past few months than I have in the previous two years of my life. I’ve experienced life outside of my bubble and learned who I really am when everything familiar is stripped away. Most of all, I’ve learned to be okay with myself, even when I am struggling. To disregard opinions from anyone who does not matter to me and create my own judgements of myself rather than depending on others. I’m even considering doing my master’s degree in Barcelona, or anywhere abroad, which is something I would’ve never believed four months ago. 

Most importantly, I realized something huge: life is not meant to be lived in fear of messing up. What is the point of always being afraid? How do you grow from that?

Who cares if you gain weight after enjoying meals you’ll never get to eat again in the US? Who cares if you look ugly after a long night of clubbing, dancing, and making memories? Who cares if your study abroad situationship you may never see again is ungrateful or confusing? Who cares if you fall off a pool ledge while on a trip you’ll never get to go on again with your study abroad friends? (this one is a little questionable, considering I am still recovering from the injury, but you get the point.)

None of it matters. Life is so much bigger than the tiny things we overthink.

Barcelona taught me that life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. It doesn’t have to be planned to be meaningful. And it definitely doesn’t need to follow some rigid timeline to be successful.

In the US, we’re often taught that there is only one path to success, and if you don’t follow it, you’re shamed or seen as a failure. But this is such a small-minded perspective. There are so many journeys and paths to success. There are so many definitions of what this success looks like. Genuinely, life is never, ever that serious. And that is something I would have never thought just a few months ago. 

In the End…

Studying in Barcelona didn’t magically fix all my problems — but it changed me.

It taught me to breathe. To let go. To trust myself. To stop taking everything so seriously. To live.

I can confidently say that I am proud of my journey in Barcelona and proud of the person I leave as. Nobody prepares you for the emotions that come as the semester abroad approaches its end. The people, the memories, even the local staff, who you’ve managed to get so close with, but won’t ever get the opportunity to see again. We can plan reunions all we want, but we won’t ever get the chance to all be together in Barcelona again, planning weekend trips and deciding which club to go to on a Wednesday night. 

I leave Barcelona with new friends, new stories, new scars (literally), and a completely new perspective. And honestly? I wouldn’t trade any of it — not even the chaotic and difficult parts — for the world. This city changed me in ways I didn’t even know I needed and I could never be more grateful for this experience.

Find out more about the different study abroad programs available at Expanish in Barcelona or any of our other destinations in Spain and Latin America.